Okay, I am actually writing something. After so long, god, this is disgusting.
Anyway, so I am poor. Have been for a while, well since my summer class did not make and I went to Europe and then to Chicago and then my phone got fucked and then best of them all, my paycheck dipped to a dismal low. Why, because this blood-sucking university decided to increase the "special institutional fee." I make enough to cover rent, bills and a little food. Well, that means that I eat at home, drink coffee and other adult beverages mostly at home and that is good for the health. But, this is fucking annoying. I feel claustrophobic about finances all the fucking time and that is so fucking annoying. They pay me peanuts and then take 20 percent of my pay away. I don't understand why science graduate students get paid more and have to pay the same fees. The university spends way more money on those useless mother-fuckers than on a humanities graduate student like me. Well, those guys have external funding and that covers a lot, but even a fucker like this shithead I knew who is not affiliated to a lab and is basically fucking around got paid twice my salary and PAID THE SAME FEES. If you are paying them more, charge them more and reduce some of my burden. I work as hard as they do. To hell with it, I work harder than most of those turds.
Wow, I am angry. Well, I guess I have reason to be angry. If the university is in a financial crunch then shouldn't the top brass, that is the mother-fucking executives who make shit loads of money anyway bear the burden and take some paycuts. Oh no, why would they, that would mean one less Armani suit, one less bottle of $5000 wine, one less day at the golf course and other such luxuries and these Southern gentlemen cannot be seen or thought of without those, of course not. Tch, boy, haven't you learnt anything. Well, fuck them and their wealth. Arrrggghhh. Well I am also not really well. My back has been bothering me. I am in pain and on pain meds. And I have been recommended physical therapy. But, guess what? I cannot afford it. Yeah! And then of course it is end of semester. I have shit load of work to do. Grading, writing, etc and etc. I can't wait for the break. I want to be productive. I want to read and write and make it a worthwhile time. I will obviously not be traveling and I am beginning to think that might be a good plan. I have seen a bit of the country. The rest can wait a little.
Anyway, I got my first Christmas present. My AWESOME flatmate bought me a ticket to a Beirut concert happening in town. I am happy about that. Well, I guess that is the trick for the time being. Finding that elusive happy place amidst the dark, dreary clouds that have been hanging low in my horizon. I have survived worse and I will survive. And I will write again, soon! Till then...
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